John Newton

John, Newton, I have been fascinated by his testimony since I watched the movie "Amazing Grace" over Christmas. It's a good movie, I recommend all to see it. It is about William Wilberforce fight to end slave trade in England.

In the movie John Newton quoted “Although my memory's fading, I remember two things very clearly: I am a great sinner and Christ is a great Savior".

I have been dwelling on this quote for a couple of weeks. I still can't get over what a wicked sinner I am, but yet, what an Great Savior we have. Have you thought of that lately, what a great Savior we have.

I am reading "Out of the Depths" a biography of John Newton.
This quote has also struck a chord in my heart
"I am not what I ought to be, I am not what I want to be, I am not what I hope to be in another world; but still I am not what I once used to be, and by the grace of God I am what I am”  

 I know I have so many shortcomings and failures. Dwelling on them is a huge stumblingblock in my life. But in reality by the grace of God, I have overcome so much. I have climbed huge mountains to get to the valley I dwell. Instead of living in the defeats, I should be rejoicing in the victories.
Psalm 37:

23	The steps of a good man are ordered by the LORD: and he delighteth in his way.
24	Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down: for the LORD upholdeth him with his hand.

 Let me leave you with the best quote of all from this former slave trader. No matter what wicked deeds you have done, God can save you just like He did John Newton.

Amazing Grace
Amazing grace! How sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me!
I once was lost, but now am found;
Was blind, but now I see.
’Twas grace that taught my heart to fear,
And grace my fears relieved;
How precious did that grace appear
The hour I first believed!
Through many dangers, toils and snares,
I have already come;
’Tis grace hath brought me safe thus far,
And grace will lead me home.
The Lord has promised good to me,
His Word my hope secures;
He will my shield and portion be,
As long as life endures.
Yea, when this flesh and heart shall fail,
And mortal life shall cease,
I shall possess, within the veil,
A life of joy and peace.
The earth shall soon dissolve like snow,
The sun forbear to shine;
But God, who called me here below,
Will be forever mine.
When we’ve been there ten thousand years,
Bright shining as the sun,
We’ve no less days to sing God’s praise
Than when we’d first begun.

Pastor D

In Febuary my church is voting on a new pastor. Our current one is getting older and wanting to step down, not retire from God's work, but knows the older he gets the more he will slow down. Thus he is handing over the throne to someone else. But who....

Well the deacons of our church have suggested the youth pastor, Pastor Damron. There is a problem.

You see I have known Pastor Damron since 1989. Infact, I used to work with him. And what a Goob was he. But you know what?  God can use Goob's too.
There were really only a few guys from my college days that I would really consider real.When I found out he was youth pastor, I was relieved, I knew I could trust him, I knew he was real. That is important to someone like me, that went to a church where Christ wasn't real.
 Now don't get me wrong, we fought teased and harassed I am sure of. Mainly because I did that with most guys I went to Bible College with. Primarily it was over the whole Jack Hyles thing, basically in a nut shell I was ordered to be loyal, and ignore, disbelieve anything I heard about him. It turned out ugly for me, lesson learned.
I do recall one thing, he was a decent guy and a hard worker. Now 22 years later, do I want him a pastor. No!!! Now that sounds harsh I am aware. But hear me out.

The above picture is Pastor D and my daughter Rachel on a youth trip last summer. I know the date states 2004, the date on the camera would stick and it wouldn't let us change it. I truly believe Pastor and Mrs. D have done more my daughter in the last 5 years that she has been in the youth group then anyone, including me. Their love and compassion, prayers, and even teasing, (which Rachel loves) has helped her to grow to be the young lady she is.

 I never would have thought having a 16 year old daughter would be so easy. I don't worry about her getting in trouble. Drinking, drugs and dating is no concern. She is responsible, and sweet. She is a hard worker, she has a small little lawn business. She manages her money, tithes, and supplies most of her own needs, especially throughout the summer.

The reason I don't want Pastor D to become head pastor is because of this little girl. What will I do without him and his wife leading and guiding my Sami? You see Samantha will be joining the youth group next year. And she is stubborned. She needs a strong youth pastor. One who will lead and guide he in a direction just like Rachel.

 We don't have a strong christian family, we don't. My girls need at least one strong godly leader in their life. One that will help them grow. Grow to become what they ought to be.
Please don't think I am copping out here. We try to guide our daughters the best we can, but the truth is, we are weak,  I and my husband. But we are committed to grow and to learn to grow more. We want the best for our girls, so we will not sit in denial of our shortcomings.
Do I think Pastor D will be a good head pastor? No, great, yes. However, I am selfish. I want him to be Sami's youth pastor. Don't get me wrong, I am sure who ever the choose to be the next youth pastor will be fine, maybe even better. The teens are the heart and soul of our church. Whoever it is, will still not be Pastor D. That is what  is sad.
I won't be voting the night the vote for Pastor D to be head pastor. I am scheduled to work. I am glad I don't vote because honestly it would be hard to vote yes, even though he should get it.