John Newton

John, Newton, I have been fascinated by his testimony since I watched the movie "Amazing Grace" over Christmas. It's a good movie, I recommend all to see it. It is about William Wilberforce fight to end slave trade in England.

In the movie John Newton quoted “Although my memory's fading, I remember two things very clearly: I am a great sinner and Christ is a great Savior".

I have been dwelling on this quote for a couple of weeks. I still can't get over what a wicked sinner I am, but yet, what an Great Savior we have. Have you thought of that lately, what a great Savior we have.

I am reading "Out of the Depths" a biography of John Newton.
This quote has also struck a chord in my heart
"I am not what I ought to be, I am not what I want to be, I am not what I hope to be in another world; but still I am not what I once used to be, and by the grace of God I am what I am”  

 I know I have so many shortcomings and failures. Dwelling on them is a huge stumblingblock in my life. But in reality by the grace of God, I have overcome so much. I have climbed huge mountains to get to the valley I dwell. Instead of living in the defeats, I should be rejoicing in the victories.
Psalm 37:

23	The steps of a good man are ordered by the LORD: and he delighteth in his way.
24	Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down: for the LORD upholdeth him with his hand.

 Let me leave you with the best quote of all from this former slave trader. No matter what wicked deeds you have done, God can save you just like He did John Newton.

Amazing Grace
Amazing grace! How sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me!
I once was lost, but now am found;
Was blind, but now I see.
’Twas grace that taught my heart to fear,
And grace my fears relieved;
How precious did that grace appear
The hour I first believed!
Through many dangers, toils and snares,
I have already come;
’Tis grace hath brought me safe thus far,
And grace will lead me home.
The Lord has promised good to me,
His Word my hope secures;
He will my shield and portion be,
As long as life endures.
Yea, when this flesh and heart shall fail,
And mortal life shall cease,
I shall possess, within the veil,
A life of joy and peace.
The earth shall soon dissolve like snow,
The sun forbear to shine;
But God, who called me here below,
Will be forever mine.
When we’ve been there ten thousand years,
Bright shining as the sun,
We’ve no less days to sing God’s praise
Than when we’d first begun.

Pastor D

In Febuary my church is voting on a new pastor. Our current one is getting older and wanting to step down, not retire from God's work, but knows the older he gets the more he will slow down. Thus he is handing over the throne to someone else. But who....

Well the deacons of our church have suggested the youth pastor, Pastor Damron. There is a problem.

You see I have known Pastor Damron since 1989. Infact, I used to work with him. And what a Goob was he. But you know what?  God can use Goob's too.
There were really only a few guys from my college days that I would really consider real.When I found out he was youth pastor, I was relieved, I knew I could trust him, I knew he was real. That is important to someone like me, that went to a church where Christ wasn't real.
 Now don't get me wrong, we fought teased and harassed I am sure of. Mainly because I did that with most guys I went to Bible College with. Primarily it was over the whole Jack Hyles thing, basically in a nut shell I was ordered to be loyal, and ignore, disbelieve anything I heard about him. It turned out ugly for me, lesson learned.
I do recall one thing, he was a decent guy and a hard worker. Now 22 years later, do I want him a pastor. No!!! Now that sounds harsh I am aware. But hear me out.

The above picture is Pastor D and my daughter Rachel on a youth trip last summer. I know the date states 2004, the date on the camera would stick and it wouldn't let us change it. I truly believe Pastor and Mrs. D have done more my daughter in the last 5 years that she has been in the youth group then anyone, including me. Their love and compassion, prayers, and even teasing, (which Rachel loves) has helped her to grow to be the young lady she is.

 I never would have thought having a 16 year old daughter would be so easy. I don't worry about her getting in trouble. Drinking, drugs and dating is no concern. She is responsible, and sweet. She is a hard worker, she has a small little lawn business. She manages her money, tithes, and supplies most of her own needs, especially throughout the summer.

The reason I don't want Pastor D to become head pastor is because of this little girl. What will I do without him and his wife leading and guiding my Sami? You see Samantha will be joining the youth group next year. And she is stubborned. She needs a strong youth pastor. One who will lead and guide he in a direction just like Rachel.

 We don't have a strong christian family, we don't. My girls need at least one strong godly leader in their life. One that will help them grow. Grow to become what they ought to be.
Please don't think I am copping out here. We try to guide our daughters the best we can, but the truth is, we are weak,  I and my husband. But we are committed to grow and to learn to grow more. We want the best for our girls, so we will not sit in denial of our shortcomings.
Do I think Pastor D will be a good head pastor? No, great, yes. However, I am selfish. I want him to be Sami's youth pastor. Don't get me wrong, I am sure who ever the choose to be the next youth pastor will be fine, maybe even better. The teens are the heart and soul of our church. Whoever it is, will still not be Pastor D. That is what  is sad.
I won't be voting the night the vote for Pastor D to be head pastor. I am scheduled to work. I am glad I don't vote because honestly it would be hard to vote yes, even though he should get it.

Worship

I Chronicles 16:29 Give unto the LORD the glory due unto his name: bring an offering, and come before him: worship the LORD in the beauty of holiness.


What does worship mean to you? Dictionary.com defines it as

wor·ship

   /ˈwɜrʃɪp/ Show Spelled [wur-ship] Show IPA noun, verb, -shiped, -ship·ing or ( especially British ) -shipped, -ship·ping.

noun

1.

reverent honor and homage paid to God or a sacred personage, or to any object regarded as sacred.

2.

formal or ceremonious rendering of such honor and homage: They attended worship this morning.

3.

adoring reverence or regard: excessive worship of business success.

4.

the object of adoring reverence or regard.

5.

( initial capital letter ) British . a title of honor used in addressing or mentioning certain magistrates and others of high rank or station (usually preceded by Your, His, or Her ).

verb (used with object)

6.

to render religious reverence and homage to.

7.

to feel an adoring reverence or regard for (any person or thing).

 

I just have been thinking alot of this, not sure why, maybe do to being a week before Christmas. The celebration of the Messiah's birth, the homage paid by the 3 wise men, the angels, and others. The star from the sky, shining extra bright, ie even creation reverence the King.

 

But my thought is mainly on worshipping in church. Maybe I am going through a null phase, I am not sure. Maybe it is just my heart isn't prepared. I can't sing, seriously, I sound like a wounded cow. But when I sing the words it just isn't all there, whom am I  singing to? Others I doubt, myself, maybe, or am I just singing for because everyone is. No real since of worshipping, giving God reverence do. Am I listening to the preaching out of ritual, expectation, or honor?

 

How does singing to God and listening to preaching exude worship? I don't know, maybe I am confused, or just in a rut. It's not like I want to be ignorant in this act, I just doubt the sincerity of the practice, of others yes, but mine even more. It should be about going to church and growing always, but shouldn't it be about giving honor,reverence, admiration to whom it is due? God our heavenly Father, Christ the King of glory.

 

Just thinking........

 

 

Being a Mom is hard

Proverbs 31:28 Her children arise up, and call her blessed

Rachel and I were conversing about what she should dress up for Halloween. She is 16, but she is taking her 11 year old sister, Sami. I suggested, she go as a nurse. We do not spend tons of money on Halloween. What we have at home they throw together to make a costume. Since I have tons of nurse uniforms, it would of been easy for Rachel.


Rachel hates the medical field. She has no desire at all to be a nurse. I suggested xray tech, or physical therapist, the answer was "NO". Even in a last ditch effort I suggested to study being a registered dietician, especially since Rachel loves food. Still an affirmative "NO". I honestly can't blame Rachel. Nurses are known to eat their young. From my experience, it isn't a good field for a Christian to get into. I have worked too many nasty, sickening young princess' that is just out to get a doctor. They are rude and crude. Now this isn't the whole medical field, this is just my personally experience. Thankfully, I am not in an enviroment like that now.

The thought of even dressing up as a nurse, is repulsive to my daughter. I was hurt. I told her that. I am like this is crazy Rachel. I am I so horrible that you can't even dress up like a nurse because you don't want to be anything like me? Pause.......

Rachel "I want to be a good mom like you."

tears....

It is hard to be a good Mom, but it is worth the hard work.

Does your child ever surprize you Spiritually?

My youngest, Samantha is saved. I know she is not just by her confession, but life style. This week she has been memorizing Ephesians 6:10-18, on her own. It isn't for school, or church, but own personally growth. She has also been reading The Weapon of Prayer by E. M. Bounds. She said "Mom I learned something from this book, if I don't pray, I don't love God. How can I love some one that I ignore and don't talk too?"
She takes notes in Church and studies them. I always have a book for them to help them in their devotions. She asked if next year, if she can just do word/verse studies, like "peace, sword, and satan" for her devotions.

She is concerned with souls, she has witnessed to several neighbors and invited them to church. She has away about her that she can do that, they don't take offense.

Let me tell you my daughter is only 11 years old. What a blessing it is to have her. However, it makes me see my weakness and failure

25 things about me

I am composing a list of 25 things about me, you may or may not know
1. Happily Married to an incredible man
2. I am blessed with the two most awesomest daughters, I want to be like them
3. I have a great church family
4. I have 5 crazy animals, any one want a dog, really?
5. I like to write, although I am bad at it.
6. I am a nurse, and I am starting a knew venture in my life on Monday, really could use some prayers.
7. I have a couple of the greatest best friends, Kim and Michelle
8. I love crisp autumn air, the leaves changing colors, the frost on the ground, everything just feels so clean.
9. My favorite colors are red and green. Red gets me all fired up inside, full of energy. Green shows my love of nature and all of creation that God gave us to take care of.
10. I love the smell, sound and feel of water. It could be a babbling brook, peaceful pond, or crashing of waves. They all be still my heart, and make me appreciate the beauty God has given.
11. I hate clothes, would rather be naked any time.
12. I love potty jokes. Yeah, I know like a 5 year old.
13. Temperment wise I am choleric/sanguine. Poop and blood, go figure
14. My sign is gemini, not that I am into horoscopes, kind of put it on the same ground as temperment labeling. I will say often times people really do think there are two sides of me.
15. The verse that has probably helped me more then any is 2 Corinthians 5:14 For the love of Christ constraineth us
16. My favorite hymn, And Can it be
17. I love birds, especially watching them in the winter.
18. My favorite food, seafood. I love crab, lobster, shrimp, and the works.
19. I am addicted to soda, pop or whatever you call it.
20. I am 40, wow that is old.
21. I love tulips and sunflowers.
22. All time favorite movie "The Outsiders". I know what it is like growing up on the wrong side of the tracks.
23. I hate it when people stereotype, ....ie all mother's pamper their kids, all blacks are thugs, all hispanics are illegals, all muslims hate the US. Okay so maybe I just hate the word "all".
24. I am calm in a chaos. Really I am.
25 I am so thankful that I am a Christian. That Christ came and died for me, and I repented of my sin and accepted Him as my Saviour. I am now not perfect, just forgiven.

Ruth

The Book of Ruth from the Bible is one of the most profound books ever written. This biography is of a young woman, that lost her husband. A man I am sure she dearly loved, with how cordially she treated her mother in law Naomi. Think of the sadness and despair she went through. The mouring of not just her husband, but her barren womb, her future and support, mostly her family.

She eventually lost her family and friends, when she left Moab. She cared for Naomi, and refused to return to her father's home. The worked hard in a strange land. She waited patiently. And finally through toil and tears, through hunger and pain. God blessed her. Her struggles were not for naught. God gave her Boaz, a kind loving weathly man. But even more, she is found in the generational line of King David, and Christ.

God and can use anyone, only if the wait patiently on Him, and while waiting they work.